Introducing sex toys into your sex life is an excellent way to spice up your intimate relationships, learn more about each other’s bodies and explore your own preferences. However, for many couples, sex toys are a highly sensitive subject to put into discussion.
Mainly, it is because there is an unspoken feeling that the toy will replace the partner or provide a better experience. However, it is essential to understand that these concerns are baseless, as nothing beats live, human contact - and using sex toys only allows you to enhance and diversify it.
If you would like to talk about sex toys with your partner, but you feel embarrassed about it or simply do not know where to start, you’re in the right place. Below, you will find some guidelines on starting this conversation, when is the best time, why to go into details, and what to do if your partner isn’t open to the idea. Read on!
How to Approach the Subject?
The first thing to remember is that you should talk about sex toys only if they fit your relationship and sex life. You might be excited about buying a certain toy, but you should not push the issue if it makes your partner uncomfortable.
There is no specific time when you should talk about sex toys with your partner. Ideally, this conversation should take place after you are already in a relationship with your partner and both of you are comfortable with each other. Bringing up sex toys with a new partner can feel like pressuring them into having sex with you and may even scare them away.
The next thing to consider is how to approach the subject. However, we suggest that you bring up the topic of sex toys in a light-hearted manner - after all, it is not that a big deal. For example, you can casually mention some sexy movie or TV show that featured sex toys. This way, it will not sound like a serious discussion - but more like a fun topic for conversation. As a result, you will make sure that your partner is in the best frame of mind to listen to you without feeling uncomfortable or pressured.
Start With the Basics
If you are not quite sure what type of toy to get, it is best to start with the basics and proceed gradually. A classic example would be vibrators. They are perfect for masturbation, as they simulate sexual contact and allow you to explore your inner desires.
However, there are many other types of toys available, and you should look into different types before making a decision. You can buy dildos for sale, toys with straps, anal plugs, penis pumps, etc. - choose ones that interest you.
When to Go Into Details?
You need to make sure that your partner understands that you’re not trying to replace them or pressure them into anything they’re not comfortable with. This means that you need to go into detail about your reasons for using sex toys and what positive effects they can have on your relationship.
For instance, if you want to invite your partner to use a toy you want to buy or the one you already have, you should explain why it is so enjoyable and how you can use it together to spice things up in great detail. Describe how it works, where exactly you will use it, and what sensations you expect from it.
This way, your partner will get a good understanding of what it looks like and what its purpose is. In addition, this will help you understand each other’s expectations. For example, if your partner is hesitant to try out the new toy, this communication might help them voice their concerns and see that there is nothing to worry about.
How to Deal With Rejection?
If your partner is not interested in the idea of trying out a new toy with you, you should not force them into it. Instead, show your interest in exploring and adding a new fun element into your sex life. Tell your partner how much both of you can enjoy doing these kinds of things together and how much you want to explore new possibilities with them. However, it is essential to understand that it is a perfectly natural reaction, and nothing is wrong with it.
However, if it happens, don’t take it personally. The fact that your partner is uncomfortable with the idea of using sex toys does not mean they don’t love you or that they don’t want to experiment in bed. It may simply be that they are not ready to talk about this subject or need more time to get used to the idea.
Remember that the key here is communication and mutual respect. If you want to introduce a new toy in your sex life, the best way is to talk about it - but if your partner isn’t enthusiastic about it, respect their decision and look for some other alternatives or make the most out of what you already have.
Keep an Open Mind
There is a possibility that your partner will not be open to the idea of using sex toys ever. This is also completely normal and nothing to worry about. However, this also does not mean that you should give up on your wish to introduce some fun and excitement into your sex life.
Today, there are so many ways of exploring your intimate desires during solo sex. There are plenty of sex toys for sale available online, and you can easily purchase them yourself. In fact, it might be one of the most beneficial and rewarding solutions for you after all, as it will allow you to explore new horizons without risking any feelings or creating uncomfortable situations.
The best way to talk about sex toys with your partner is to be open, honest, and straightforward about your needs and desires. However, do not try to convince them to use sex toys - instead, focus on explaining how both of you can benefit from it and why you are so excited about trying one.
Also, remember that you can always try to diversify your intimate life without your partner - in which case, you should not hesitate to do so. It is your life and your body - and you have the right to get what makes you feel good!